I think we all judge other people. No, forget that. I know we all judge other people. Take me for instance. Yesterday I was reading a blog that showed up under a topic I had been searching for and I judged what this person wrote. Actually, I mentally impaled this person’s blog, waved it in the air shouting, “Ki fin yeni! Ezas eshna gech ahilee, Vikeesi!,” (google that shit) and then I ate the dangling entrails of the post in which she spoke about Mean Girls ever so eloquently. Some might say that it was *puts on sunglasses* hard to swallow. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!
Reading this post my actual thought process went (pardon my French):
“…What is this…I don’t even…why would someone?..just why?…okay, someone get the jizz taste out of my mouth.”
People could say a lot about my posts because they’re long and rambly and most of the time pointless for most readers and I’m sure they do think that. So I won’t feel bad that I hate some people’s opinions/blogs out there. It’s natural to dislike stupid people anyway.
So loyal readers who actually like what I have to say and may or may not judge me, I’ve compiled a list of things you might like for me to think you’re super cool in no particular order:
Community, manatees (particularly while they eat lettuce), video games, Game of Thrones, macaroni and cheese, Back to the Future, the way Michael Caine says any word that ends in “er,” Batman, 1970’s dodge challengers, a nice White Russian at the end of the day (I’m not referring to Natalia Romanova either, pervs), the way they airbrush nipples off of hosiery packaging in sex stores, Ron Swanson, Justin Timberlake’s gender-defying falsetto, a nice juicy sirloin, Bella Lugosi, locking your legs and walking like a T-Rex, Dexter, scatting even though you can’t actually scat, fun runs to raise rabies awareness, plaid shirts, coffee, dogs with smushed faces, Indiana Jones, reading, giraffes, Breaking Bad, pretty much anything associated with Kevin Smith,
monocles animals wearing monocles, pistachios, zombies, The Walking Dead, Jim Gaffigan, comics, cosplay, a Tina Fey and Amy Poehler sandwich, David Bowie, and cooking naked (that’s like an Olympic sport if you’re doing it right…or wrong).
I won’t judge you if you don’t like any or all of those things. Okay…maybe I’ll judge a little but I’ll keep those thoughts to myself. And now I leave you with a trailer I hope you’ll like.