A Feast of Information

Well, I finally finished reading A Feast For Crows last week and I have some things to say about it. The very first being: sorry it took me so long to read the damn book.

I’ll be commenting on the characters whose points-of-view we get to experience in the book (as usual) as well as some general thoughts on the book/series as a whole. So, here we go…SPOILER ALERT!

Arys Oakheart– Though some might call him pussy-whipped (surely not I, for I am a lady and far too classy to use such language), I will simply call him tragic. Arianne clearly used him to get what she wanted and though I’m sure that crazy Dornish sex was a great time after like ten years of abstinence, I think he truly did all he did for love. It’s just a shame that he died and that Myrcella was hurt in the process.

Areo Hotah– For the small part he played in this book, I really liked him. He was stern, loyal, and brave, which are really all the qualities one looks for in a protector. It’s sad that Arianne was to him what Myrcella was to Arys and yet she treated him with contempt for carrying out her father’s commands. He was just doing what he had to do, princess!

Arianne- Well, she manipulated and schemed mainly out of self-preservation, so I think I can forgive her of some selfishness. It’s hard though because knowing she was just using Arys really made her unlikable at first. It will be interesting to see what she does now that she is in on the whole grand plan her father has. When I found out she was betrothed to Viserys the whole time, I think I literally squealed.

She’s known as Yara on the show Game of Thrones if you’re wondering. (found on anadinkova.com)

Asha Greyjoy– Asha is a different breed of woman. She’s kind of like a cross between Arianne and Cersei in that she knows what she wants and will go to great lengths to get it, but she probably won’t go as far as conspiring and murdering as far as I can tell. When I think of Asha Greyjoy I instantly get 50 Cent’s song “In Da Club” stuck in my head that goes, “I’m in to having sex, I ain’t in to makin’ love, so come give me a hug, if you in to getting rough.” The way she spurned that Botley kid who was in love with her was pretty harsh. I can’t decide whether I like her or not as a person, but I think I sort of do. We’ll just have to wait and see what the future holds for her now that she’s taken off.

Victarion- Is it bad that I really like Victarion even though I know he punched his wife to death and he gets a hard on at the sight of his niece? It’s weird but Victarion, unlike his brothers, is very likable to me. I can’t wait to see what goes down with him and Daenerys. I just hope one way or another he takes out Euron because that guy is irksome.

Aeron “The Damphair” Greyjoy– Okay, I can’t stand this guy. I like him about as much as I liked Joffrey, so that is really saying something. Maybe he just reminds me of too many people I know that are so misguided with their religious beliefs. Whatever the case, I won’t be sad if this one bites it.

Cersei Lannister– I think Margaery Tryrell said it best when she named our favorite Queen, a “vile, scheming, evil bitch.” She’s done so many horrible things in the past four books that I think we can only hope that she’s about to get hers. I love that she has made so many missteps and everything is starting to crumble around her. It’s kind of clear that Daenerys is the real young queen that will bring Cersei’s downfall as Maggy the Frog foretold, but what I am theorizing is that Jaime is the actual valonqar and not Tyrion. Please no one tell me if I’m right or wrong (if anyone even knows by the end of DWD), but I think it would be a great twist. I know they’re twins and all but if Jaime was born second, that would make him a possible valonqar and therefore the possible prophecy-fulfiller.

Jaime Lannister– Oh, Jaime. I’ve grown to like you quite a bit. He’s been changing his ways little by little and I like the new him. I just hope Jaime can get over his creepy thing with Cersei once and for all and find a woman who is actually right for him. One who won’t manipulate, use and betray him at every turn. He’s going to have to be careful though because Catelyn Stark (aka Lady Stoneheart) is out for blood and I don’t think she appreciates the sentiment behind Oathkeeper the way Brienne does/did.

Brienne– Man, this wench just can not catch a break! Let’s see, she has been considered a freak her whole life, she’s courted by a bunch of knights who really just want to say they took her virginity, she falls in love with a gay dude (or bi? whatever) who ends up dying in her arms, she’s accused of killing him, she pledges an oath to a woman who dies, she nearly gets raped and has to bite off an ear, she gets thrown in a bear pit, she goes on a mission that seems pretty much hopeless, she has to kill three dudes, she gets her face bitten off, and then she gets hanged by order of the dead lady to which she swore her oath. PHEW! You just feel so bad for her time and time again. I just hope that whatever the “one word” was that she said while being hanged saved her. I just don’t know what that could be. Hmm…

Eat it, Loras! (found on fanpop.com)

Arya Stark aka Cat of the Canals aka Weasel aka Salty aka…- Way to go you feisty little thing, now you’re blind. So, due to an unfortunate spoiler on fandombase I actually knew that she was going to lose her sight. Still, I had no idea how or when it would happen. It was pretty crazy. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen to her next and if this blindness is temporary or permanent.

Sansa Stark aka Alayne– Okay, I thought her relationship with Littlefinger was creeptastic, but her relationship with Robert Arryn is even worse. That little sickling really gives me the heebie jeebies. You thought the Time magazine cover was bad, well what if you had the Protector of the Vale trying to bury his head in your cleavage for a suckling? I know it’s a product of his rearing, but this kid doesn’t stand a chance in life. Well, especially now that Littlefinger is slowly murdering him for Sansa’s (and his own) benefit.

Samwell Tarly– I, along with Gilly, have fallen in love with Sam. He’s just such a huge sweetheart can you blame her for taking comfort in his pudgy, sweaty arms? I can’t. I felt for him when Jon sent him away, when Dareon screwed him over, of course when Maester Aemon died, and finally when he slept with Gilly and felt so conflicted about it. Poor thing. Now I’m just so nervous for him because he’s fallen in with these acolytes and maesters when shady things were going down in the prologue. Who can you trust in Oldtown really? I hope he doesn’t die. He’s come too far and grown too much!

found on hbo.com

Some general comments:

– This book took forever to read. If I had to choose a least favorite of the series this far, it would be this book simply because it didn’t get really good until the last quarter or so.

– I can’t wait to read A Dance With Dragons and get to see the characters I’ve missed so much. My birthday is coming up here on June 12th and I’m hoping that I get it. If I don’t, you can guarantee I will be priority shipping it to my house.

– I was really sad when I read that Davos had been murdered, especially because it was done in such an ugly way. He was one of my favorites.

– The Tom of Sevens reveal at the end really gave me the shivers. So good. I love the way Mr. Martin reveals things a layer at a time.

– What the hell is Qyburn doing in the black cells? Is he making some kind of Frankenstein’s Monster 2.0? He is just as creepy as Cersei if not more so.

– Doran Martell is a total bad ass! I can’t wait to see what happens now that Quentyn is presumably off to meet up with Daenerys.

– I have a theory that Jon and Daenerys will end up together somehow because of that little tree lady’s prophecy about her encountering a wall of snow. You can encounter my wall of snow any time, baby! Oww!

– I hope we get to find out who Jon’s mother is at some point because it hasn’t been talked about in a while. I have another theory that Jon is actually Lyanna’s son and maybe Rhaegar was his dad. I don’t really know, but I don’t think Ned was actually his father either way.

– Continuing with the whole theory thing, Ricky and I think that Coldhands is Benjen Stark. He hasn’t been mentioned at all for a long time and it would explain a lot. Once again, if you know, PLEASE don’t tell me.

– Cersei’s foray into lesbianism as well as her flashback to eating King Robert’s semen was really REALLY gross. What is with this chick? If you fantasize that you’re a boar that’s goring a lady’s vagina pretty much at any time I would say you have some serious issues.

– I’m really excited to hear more about this prophecy Aemon was talking about. Sphinxes, eh? Very very interesting.

I will be doing a post soon that reviews Season 2 of Game of Thrones on HBO. Hold tight!

About EBCorbin

Writer. Reader. Pumpkin Eater.
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3 Responses to A Feast of Information

  1. Rawnie says:

    Ahaha, this is great. I read the books straight through after finally starting a A Game of Thrones last fall. Debating whether or not to start the HBO series now, because I know that once I start, I’ll just keep watching episode after episode until I catch up. No self control…

    • theyellowranger says:

      If you’ve already made your way through the series, I would definitely recommend the show. It’s very well done if you take it for what it is. I’ll be reviewing it soon. Thanks for reading!

  2. Pingback: A Dance with Data « theyellowranger

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